


a moment's rest

by Larissa



Series: blinded by light [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Male Miqo'te (Final Fantasy XIV), Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Meditation, Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Patch 5.2: Echoes of a Fallen Star Spoilers, hurt/comfort if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23132080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larissa/pseuds/Larissa
Summary: "I can’t lose you again."The Warrior of Light decides the Crystal Exarch needs a break. Spoilers for 5.2.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Original Character(s), G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Series: blinded by light [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126190
Comments: 6
Kudos: 65





	a moment's rest

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this is just self-indulgent patch reaction fic. Don't put a door between us again...!
> 
> May change the title if I think of something I like more; I had no inspiration. Currently it's [a song from _FFXII_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMUxYa8n5fM).

“You need to rest, Raha.”

G’raha Tia offered his beloved the same smile he’d been wearing for the past two weeks. “I assure you, my love, I am fully rested. You needn’t worry on my behalf.”

“That’s exactly why I _do_ worry.” Cálei eyed him up and down, as if to gauge his readiness by observation alone. “When’s the last time you went outside?”

So it was this again. Thankfully, this time G’raha was prepared. “Yesterday, when I joined Lyna for her evening patrol.”

Cálei was undeterred. “And before that?”

G’raha sighed. “That’s hardly the point.”

“It’s the entire point.” Cálei’s hands closed over his, drawing them away from the notes he’d been making on his latest attempt. “Tell me.”

G’raha couldn’t bring himself to meet those dark eyes, nor the concern they wore. He did not answer.

“...That’s what I thought.” Cálei squeezed his hands, lacing their fingers together. “Please don’t make me come back to get you.”

Before G’raha could protest, a swirl of aether surrounded Cálei and blinked him out of existence. A small wisp remained, and with a huff of acceptance G’raha closed his eyes and allowed it to take him. He materialized beneath the aetheryte in Fort Jobb a moment later, already giving his beloved a tired glare.

“This wasn’t necessary.”

“You made it necessary,” Cálei grumbled. “Come on, get on.”

How had Cálei already managed to procure an amaro? Unless... he’d planned this from the start. Of course he had.

There was no use arguing, then. G’raha bit back his frustration and accepted the offered hand to climb atop the amaro — and once Cálei was settled behind him, he promptly relaxed into his sure grip. If he was going to get kidnapped, he might as well get comfortable.

“Better,” Cálei murmured into his ear, before pressing a gentle kiss into his fur. His own tail curled around them both, rubbing against G’raha’s leg.

With a flick of Cálei’s wrist, the amaro took flight, wings beating rapidly to get above the lavender treeline. They soared above the familiar marshes, wind whipping through their hair. Yet they seemed to have no particular destination. Cálei turned the amaro south for a time, only to curve back north as soon as they neared the lake. It wasn’t long before G’raha realized they weren’t going anywhere at all: Cálei simply wanted to fly.

He allowed himself to relax, then, and leaned back further into his beloved’s arms. It _had_ been a while since they’d done this — or rather, since _he_ had. Cálei, he knew, made quite a habit of these aimless jaunts. For G’raha’s sake he was presently containing it to Lakeland, but he knew that Cálei often flew across the whole of Norvrandt and back again for no other reason than to clear his mind.

G’raha closed his eyes and forced himself to let out a long breath. He hadn’t wanted to admit it, but... he _was_ tired. Sleep wasn’t something he necessarily needed, though he’d been indulging ever since Cálei joined him in the Tower. He had not realized just how much he wanted to wake up beside his beloved every morning.

Only he hadn’t been sleeping at all, lately. And the man he loved (and who miraculously loved him back) was displeased with him.

His ears drooped. That must have been why Cálei had called him out. He didn’t want to have the argument again. Surely Cálei had to understand the importance of—

Lips brushed his ear. “Stop brooding,” Cálei murmured, barely audible over the heavy beat of the amaro’s wings. “Stop _thinking_. Just let yourself be for a while, Raha.”

“That’s quite simple for you to say,” G’raha muttered, but it earned him little more than a quiet laugh and another nuzzle against his ears. Cálei’s tail coiled tighter around him, brushing against his own and twining together like they often did in bed.

In bed. Gods, to even be able to think the words. How long had he dreamt of lying with Cálei again? How long had he thought about his touch, his voice, his smile? How long had he tortured himself with the memories of those scant few moments they’d had together before he’d left him?

And now Cálei was simply _his_ , without a single door blocking them... save one.

No wonder Cálei was so upset with him. G’raha made a low, unhappy noise and buried his face in his collar. His beloved had offered him the world, almost literally, and he had let himself be consumed by his duty once more.

_But it’s important. If the Scions don’t return home soon—_

“Raha.”

G’raha blinked, and found that the amaro was hovering, keeping them safely aloft over the forest. Cálei gathered the reins in one hand, then used the other to wrap around G’raha’s waist and pull him closer still.

“Just breathe,” Cálei whispered. “Remember what I taught you?”

G’raha bit his lip. Again he’d failed his beloved. “Yes,” he murmured.

“Good. I’ll count. One... two... three...”

G’raha forced himself to breathe in sync with the words in his ear. Cálei was matching the pace to the beat of the amaro’s wings, and G’raha was surprised by how easy it was to fall into their spell. Little by little, he emptied his mind, freeing it of all his worries and doubts and thinking only of his breathing.

For one who had spent a century alone, meditation had never come easy to G’raha — but for Cálei it was always simple. He’d taught him how, back in the beginning, but G’raha had always struggled with it alone. It was only with Cálei’s low, sure voice that his mind could settle, then and now.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. Presently he felt the wind against his face grow stronger as Cálei continued his lazy loop around Lakeland, but G’raha’s eyes remained closed. The numbers faded away as G’raha lost himself in the cadence of Cálei’s voice rather than anything he was saying.

Eventually the amaro’s wings stilled, so gentle and slow G’raha was hardly conscious of their landing. He allowed Cálei to help him off the amaro, and did not bother to hide the unsteadiness of his limbs. He’d always been a bit disconcerted by meditation, though Cálei had never faulted him for it.

Indeed, as G’raha lurched forward into his beloved’s arms, Cálei simply smiled and brushed his hair back from his face. “I love you,” he whispered, and kissed him. It was the same kind of kiss he dusted across G’raha’s lips every morning they woke together, full of such unhidden passion it always set G’raha’s heart aflame.

Just like that, the spell broke, and G’raha felt the weight of his worries once more. “Cálei—“

“Shh,” Cálei soothed. “Soon. Just enjoy the breeze with me for a minute.”

He wanted to protest, but there was no getting around Cálei when he was in a mood like this. He clearly had a plan, and it was all G’raha could do to follow along.

G’raha forced himself to exhale, trying in vain to force all his thoughts back out of his head and coming up predictably short — but he did as his beloved asked regardless. They had landed on a small hilltop overlooking the lake, accentuated by a few long-forgotten ruins. Down below he could see a few beastkin milling about, likely hunting for food. A lone fisher stood on the edge of the lake’s wide curve, seemingly unnoticed by the seedkin likewise standing vigil.

But up here they were alone, and there was no longer anything he could use to hide. G’raha pulled back from his beloved’s embrace, knowing he should say something and not having the first idea _what_.

“Cálei, I...”

“I used to come up here, you know.”

That wasn’t at all what he’d expected, but he could play along. “Truly? You have never mentioned.”

Cálei shrugged. “Not much to mention. It’s a bit lacking in amenities.” He gestured to the light-bleached ruins, then at the lake. “But I like the view. Reminds me of home.”

By the gods. How had he forgotten? How could he _possibly_ forget? Cálei had done just this in Mor Dhona: stolen away for peace and quiet, only for G’raha to find him hours later on a barren clifftop. They’d never exchanged more than a few words about it— but then they’d never needed them.

G’raha bowed his head. “I remember.”

“Do you?”

He looked back at his beloved. Affection still kindled in Cálei’s gaze, but beneath it was the unmistakable intensity of the Warrior of Light. “Do you remember, Raha? Or have you let yourself forget this, too?”

G’raha bristled. “I have not for—”

“You _have_ , Raha. You’ve done nothing but forget yourself. You’re not sleeping. You’re barely eating. The only reason you’re here right now is because you didn’t want to upset me.” Cálei raised an eyebrow at G’raha’s flinch. “Am I wrong?”

There was nothing G’raha could say in his defense beyond the truth they both knew. “My work is important,” G’raha said, the words sounding unconvincing to his own flattened ears. “I _must_ get the Scions back home. Because of me, they—”

“They might die. I know that. So do they. But _no one_ wants you to—”

Cálei shook his head. His hands were balled at his sides, and G’raha could see him consciously relax. Cálei’s temper had come a long way, but there were still moments he couldn’t contain himself.

When he did speak, it was in a murmur. “I can’t lose you again. I can’t, Raha. You know that. Last time—” He broke off, looking away. “Last time nearly killed me. I can’t do it again.”

G’raha swallowed, tightly. What few occasions Cálei had mentioned that period of his life had always been brief, with the barest possible terms to convey the unhappiness he’d endured. It had been Alphinaud who had told him more, and even he had opted for brevity, offering little more than the firm impression that Cálei had been drastically affected by his loss, to the point he had nearly been swallowed by his grief.

(Would that _Heavensward_ had offered more details on the Warrior of Light’s state of mind rather than his deeds.)

He knew he had to reassure his beloved — _I’m fine, no harm will befall me, you needn’t fret_ — but his mouth wouldn’t form the words. It was all he could do to manage an empty platitude. “I’m sorry.”

And yet he regretted the words as soon as they passed his lips, for Cálei promptly scowled. “Don’t,” he bit out. “Don’t _apologize_ , Raha. You know how I—”

“I know. I—” G’raha had to bite back the reflexive apology. “I won’t.”

Cálei grit his teeth for a long moment, until at last his shoulders slumped. “I know what you’re doing is important,” Cálei murmured. “Of course I know that. I just— I— I _can’t_ , Raha. Please.”

Cálei was worried.

It was such a startling thought that G’raha nearly laughed, but there was nothing funny about it. Cálei wasn’t upset with him at all, he was— by the gods, he was _worried._ He really thought G’raha would...?

What humor had risen quickly sank into the depths of his stomach. Of _course_ he was concerned: G’raha had given him nothing but reasons _to_ worry. He’d gone and locked himself away, just as Cálei had begged him not to. No wonder he was in such a state.

And yet, G’raha couldn’t help but offer his beloved a gentle smile as he stepped forward into his embrace. “My love,” he murmured. “I have done you such a disservice.”

“That’s just another way of saying you’re sorry,” Cálei grumbled, but he allowed G’raha to pull him close regardless.

“You will have to forgive me, this time,” G’raha replied, wryly. Cálei’s distaste for apologies was understandable, given what he’d been through, if somewhat tricky to work around. But in this he had no other option. “I _am_ sorry, my love. I have given you naught but cause for concern, and done little to assuage your justified fears. Cálei—” He waited until Cálei’s gaze met his. “I have no intention of sacrificing myself. Not even for something as important as this.”

Cálei eyed him, wary. “Even if there’s no other option?”

“Even if.” G’raha let out a sigh and pressed his forehead to his beloved’s. “I do not think it will come to that, mind, but if it does: you have my word. I will not sacrifice myself for their sake. Not because it is against their wishes — and yours, I am sure—”

“You think?” Cálei muttered.

G’raha smiled. “I will not sacrifice myself for another ever again, my love. I made you that promise, and I have no wish to break it. You have taught me how to want to live again, and I would not squander such a precious gift in such a thoughtless manner. No matter what, I _will_ find a way to save your friends without any loss of life.”

Cálei was quiet a moment. The words had had an impact, G’raha knew, but Cálei was not ready to show them, as was his wont. “You can’t promise that, Raha.”

“Perhaps not,” G’raha allowed. “Yet promise it I shall. I will not fail you again. Though it may take all the time left to me, I will find a solution. We’ve made progress already.”

A thought struck G’raha then, one that should have come to mind far sooner — but he would not apologize. “In fact, why don’t I show you our findings? Fresh eyes would do us all good, at this point, and—”

Cálei kissed him: warm and happy and full of such _relief_ G’raha could hardly bear it. Yet there was no point in dwelling on his many mistakes. Not with this man in his arms. Cálei cared for nothing but the future, and he would not allow him to stay mired in his failings.

“Of course I’ll help,” Cálei murmured against him. He let out a brief laugh. “Though I’m not sure how much I can do. This is your territory, not mine.”

“All the more reason to solicit help,” G’raha said warmly. “I should love to have your insight. I rather expect you will stumble upon something we’ve overlooked.”

“You? Overlook something?” Cálei’s eyes twinkled. “Perish the thought.”

G’raha huffed. “That happened _once_. I cannot believe you are still bringing it up.”

“Nope,” Cálei chirped. “You’re gonna be living that one down until the end of time, Raha. I mean, how could I _possibly_ forget about the time you left our tent without—”

“That’s quite enough, thank you,” G’raha hissed.

“What, afraid the beastkin might overhear?” Cálei grinned. “I’m sure they’d _love_ to hear about the time you forgot your—”

G’raha muffled him with a kiss, messy and off-center but not lacking in affection. “You,” the Crystal Exarch said, primly, “are a fool.”

Cálei beamed at him. “Your fool,” he murmured, and drew him in for another kiss. “All yours, Raha.”

G’raha would have been content to stay like this forever. Cálei’s lips were soft and warm against his. His broad arms held him close, as if to make G’raha melt into him completely. Once again their tails were coiled together, just enough that neither could pull apart.

Yet before long Cálei nipped at his lips and smiled. “Come on, let’s head back. There’s a new dessert I’ve been working on, and it’s got your name on it.”

G’raha perked up. “Truly? What kind of—”

Another kiss, another smile. “It’s a surprise. So come on.” Cálei untangled their bodies, save for the hand he kept clasped around G’raha’s. “Let’s go home.”

 _Home_. To think of the Crystal Tower not as his home, but _theirs_. G’raha could hardly contain his smile. “Yes, my love.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on twitter at [larissacreates](https://twitter.com/larissacreates) (writing and projects) and [farfromdaylight](https://twitter.com/farfromdaylight) (general ff14 yelling, screencaps, rts, etc).


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